I’m a hypocrite! Two posts ago I wrote about God’s loving-kindness towards me being precious. I was reveling in the thought that God’s love for me is beyond anything that I can comprehend. Here I am a week later doubting that love. This morning I caught myself not really believing in the truth of God’s love for me. That’s exactly how I felt, too. Caught. Exposed in the reality of my belief system. Here I thought I was all confident in my graced place before the throne. In truth, I was worried that God wasn’t out for my good. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I feel like an Israelite! Have you ever ridiculed God’s chosen people? Whether or not you’ll admit it, if you’ve read the Old Testament (and you’re honest) you have thought those guys were idiots at least once. Well, maybe not anything as strong as “idiot”, but surely the thought “How could they doubt God like that?” crossed your mind. Come on, think back to the time right after the Israelites miraculously crossed the Red Sea and then they decided to ditch God and make a golden calf. Doesn’t that story cause disbelief to well up in your soul? How could they do that?
Well, I’m no better. I have the Bible. I have Jesus and the redemption of my soul by his grace. I have innumerable scriptures that testify of God’s unending love for me. And still I doubt. I am embarrassed. Why is it so hard to believe that God loves me unconditionally? God has more for me. He wants me to believe. He wants me to trust.
Dear Lord, help me to know the truth deep in my soul; that you love me and are full of goodness towards me. Help me to understand the truth of who you are and the way that you love. I pray for revelation of the truth.
For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.