Before I go on to my next car story, I feel like I need to stop and elaborate on this time of my life, this time in the trailer, when Nick was in and out of work, before the fairy tale house and the bright gold carriage. (Yes, our Chevy Tahoe is a gold SUV and I call it the Princess car….sappy but fitting. J)
During this time I learned to pour out my heart to the Lord regularly. I kept nothing back from Him. I told Him of my frustrations and fears and the difficulty I had with our current life status. I begged Him to change me, begged Him to help me; I was honest about my embarrassment over my attitudes. He became my number one confidant, the one to whom I poured my heart. The thing that blew me away was that all I ever heard from Him in response was encouragement. I would have expected Him to blast me. I thought He’d go on about how materialistic and whiny I was. I thought He’d tell me to shape up and be thankful I hadn’t been asked to die for the sins of humanity like He had.
Our conversations were nothing like that. He would tell me how proud He was of me, that even though what He’d asked of me was very hard, I was willing to make any sacrifice for His sake. He seemed blessed that I’d do something for Him that was such a challenge and told me that meant a great deal to Him. (Go figure!) He repeatedly asked me to trust Him and promised me He’d take care of me. At His urging, I started a habit of making a list of all the things I wanted or needed in my journal. Then I’d watch Him supply all the things on that list one by one. It was this process that drew me to Him in a way I’d never imagined.
More to come…..