Have you ever gone through a time in life when everything seems to go wrong, break down or fall apart? That’s what we went through over the last six months. There were state budget cuts, thousands of dollars of repair for the princess car, my health issues (that’s another story), not to mention small things that added up like the plumbing, the prongs on my wedding ring…you name it! I could have been a walking advertisement for financial adversity! Because of that we didn’t have the cash for a car that we expected to have by this fall.
I wish I had done what God asked. I wish I had thought about what car I wanted and waited to see what He might do. Then, when my dad called and said, “We’re giving you $20,000” I would have known what I wanted and once again seen the miraculous workings of the Lord manifest as the money seemingly came out of nowhere. That would have been a great cause for celebration and joy!
Instead, I ignored God and decided that we just needed to be economical and get a Honda Fit. “Car and Driver” has placed them in the top ten cars for the last 5 years. They get great gas mileage and aren’t that expensive. It wasn’t what I really wanted but it was a logical, practical solution. Unfortunately, Nick really doesn’t like them and I couldn’t stand the idea of getting a car Nick didn’t like.
So one Saturday we went to look at cars, trying to find one we both agreed on. Even though we’d been given money at this point, I was still stuck on a “buy economically” focus, trying not to think about what I wanted. Nick fell in love with this very practical sedan that was on sale and a great deal. I hated it, but I was trying to be a good economical wife and let my husband get what he wanted. I told him I didn’t like it, but when he pressed, I caved. He bought the car before it had been inspected so we left it at the lot and went home without it. The farther we got from the lot, the more upset I got. We’d just had this miraculous financial gift and I got a car I hated with it! I didn’t realize it until it was all over, but I really cared what car we got. I didn’t want to care. I wanted to be a non-materialistic Christian whose head was in the kingdom and not in the world. But I couldn’t. It wasn’t until the dust settled that I realized how much the whole thing bothered me.
On my next post I will bring this tale to a close and tell you what happened, but I want to end today’s with the following outrageous reality: God knows me so much better than I know myself. He knew I’d get money from my mom and dad. He knew I’d care about the car we chose. He tried to help me by asking me to think about what I desired. He could have told me not to care because it’s so “of the world”. Don’t we expect God to tell us not to care? God didn’t. He told me to choose what I wanted knowing that the money would be there when we needed it. He gives good gifts to His children. He loves me so much. He loves us all so much. And we have no idea how much.
Matthew 7:9-11 (NKJV)
Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!