Now that my stories have caught us up to the present I can finally describe the recent circumstances that transpired in a way that will make much more sense—and the good, the bad, and the ugly will be clearly obvious. Life has changed since the trailer days. We are making more than twice the amount of money we used to and are tithing a different amount. Nick bought a cool but dilapidated 75 year old house that was twice the size of our original small home and he’s fixed it up beautifully.
The wolf is no longer at the door financially, so when we decided about a year ago that we were going to buy a car this fall it was simply part of financial planning. At several points in the process I felt God speak to me and say, “You need to think about what you want.” After all of my past experiences, you’d think I’d zero in on that comment. But here’s the heartbreaking truth. Instead of turning up the volume and really listening to Him, I put Him on mute. It makes me so sad to face this. I didn't even realize what I’d done until the dust had settled and the whole thing was over. The big question is, why? Why, after all God had done for me did I quit listening? I've spent the past several weeks answering that question and here’s what I discovered.
It’s true that having more money made me less needy. We haven’t been praying for our wants/needs for several years. However, not only did I not feel like I needed divine intervention, I didn’t think I deserved it, either. God had been there for us when we were desperate, but we aren’t desperate anymore. After all, I am a big girl now and it’s time for me to take care of myself. We have a nice house, the princess car….we even have a boat! People around the world are starving for God’s sake. What right do I have to want something as extravagant as the car of my choice? I need to be practical and economical. It’s wrong to even expect to get what I want in light of all the needs we have with two teenagers about to enter college and the world in such a financial state. And so I tuned God out and moved forward with my own plans. They didn’t go so well…..to be continued….. J
Whether or not I've believed this lately, it's still true:
Ephesians 3:20-21 (NKJV)
Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.