Yesterday I went for prayer for my hip at the Healing Rooms in Lewiston. It’s getting better and I’m walking a lot more, but it still hurts every day and I would really like to get healed. I’d love to ditch the brace for good…even though I struggle to have faith for that. I went into the prayer room and they started to pray. I moved to bend my head down in a respectful praying position when my eye was captured by a banner on the wall proclaiming some of the names of God. El Eylon, the most high God. El Shaddai, God our sufficiency. Jehovah Shalom, the God who is our peace. As they prayed, I just stared at that banner and started to cry. I love Him so much, this God who is my peace. I forgot all about my prayer for healing and sat in his presence while tears rolled down my cheeks.
I came in there wanting something from the Lord but as I stood there I was overwhelmed with everything I already have been given. I have Him. I have His love and companionship. This God who is so amazing…so many things at once…our healer, our peace….and still the Most High God . Bigger than I can even comprehend. For some crazy reason, in the midst of his greatness (and wouldn’t you think He’d have more important things He had to do?) He wanted to bless me yesterday. And bless me He did. His presence overwhelmed me so much that I could feel it. My heart was filled with some great emotion, like it might be when you’ve heard some incredible news and your heart is warmed by it. I’m getting teary again just reliving it. I’m having a hard time here, I can’t put the right words to it but I’m going to keep trying….. The part that surprised me was that I was very aware that my heart was filled to bursting with my love for Him. I’m crying again, right back there, thinking of His goodness and how blessed I am to be loved by such a God.
To be made aware of my love for Him was actually a joy. You see, I tend to be the type who looks at her life and says, “This is just not enough.” I often feel like I don’t love God enough, don’t care enough, am too selfish, whatever. But I do love Him. More than any other thing. And He knows it. And He showed me that yesterday. I know my loving Him makes Him happy.