To say that Nick and I had a rocky start to our relationship would be the quintessential understatement. We were actually engaged and cancelled our engagement before the wedding. Yes it was difficult. And awkward. And the reasons are not really the focus of this particular story. At this point in my life I had developed a habit of writing to the Lord daily in a journal. I’d been taught by my pastor to write to the Lord in one color and then write down what I felt like He was saying to me in another color. I’d been doing this for years at this point, and had learned to hear God’s voice much better than that first fall day I described in my last post. So, when the Lord told me in my notebook that I was going to marry Nick Sewell after all, I was worried. The idea of being wrong again, after all we’d been through terrified me. What if this was not God? I’d be married to the wrong person! So, I talked to someone I trusted and asked their opinion. They suggested that I set the word aside and trust that God would continue to show me the right direction in time and help me to be sure in my heart that this was the right thing. So I did.
But in the meantime, regularly when I’d talk to the Lord in my notebook, He’d talk to me about Nick. He told me over and over again. “You are going to get married in December. He is going to ask you, and when he does I want you to say yes. Practice it now. Say it out loud. Yes.” This all started in August. Nick and I weren’t really hanging out at the time. There’s no place to go but the altar when you’ve already been down that road. Anyway, this continues into November. Finally, about half-way through the month I quit writing in my notebook. I couldn’t hear from God. I was an idiot.
On December first Nick took me out to a garden that was totally covered with deep snow. He’d written this in the snow, “I love you, Tammy will you marry me?” He looked at me and said, “I’ve already talked to Pastor. I want to get married as soon as possible. What about December 29th?” I stared at the snow. I stared at him. The first thought that came into my head was, I do know how to hear from God!!
Nick had absolutely no idea what God had been saying to me. But I knew. And when I really needed the confidence to say yes, I could. I love God so much. He knew I needed some assurance that this was His will. He also knew whom I needed to marry. Next to salvation, marrying Nick Sewell was the best decision of my life. I also learned that God does truly speak to us if we learn how to listen.
John 10:27 (NKJV)
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.