God is good and He loves me. He is stable and ever present when I am up and down and all over the place in my human emotions and frailties. And I am so grateful. I’m glad I don’t blow Him away with my inconsistency. I’m grateful that He sees my struggles and isn’t mad. It’s one of the things I love best about Him, this love of His that is unwavering and sure. I’m leaning on it now.
Last week I was flying high from walking out of the Healing Rooms without my crutches. Right now I am tired and sore and dragging. It’s nothing terrible, I’m just having a bad day. I tend to let the feelings of the moment override the bigger picture. So right now as I write this blog I want to step back and celebrate the big picture, even though I’m currently in the doldrums.
1) I had my first migraine since I got my migraine medication and the medicine worked….no spending hours in bed! That was a relief!
2) My leg has been tired and sore but I haven’t had to go back on crutches! I’ve overdone it twice and set myself back. I’ve had a couple of moments where it started to get bad and I wondered if I was heading back downhill to the evil crutches zone, but I didn’t. I was teaching full-time, too, since my student teacher is done. I should be jumping up and down. Instead I’m frustrated that it isn’t totally fine and I’m not running all around will full movement. I just want everything to be fine. I want no problems. God help me. I was struck tonight with my ingratitude and the fickleness of my love. Dear Lord, thank you for the amazing things you’ve done for me. Thank you for rescuing me. I repent of letting my current circumstances interfere with my appreciation for you. Dear Lord, help me to be like you. I don’t want to be one of the “what have you done for me lately” type Christians but I was being one tonight. Since I have salvation and I have you, Lord, I shouldn’t be demanding. Please help me.
And so you see, this quest I’m on to love God, live for Him and draw close to Him, is a struggle for me at times. I fall, I repent, but on I go. Let’s go on in Him together, shall we?
Psalm 91: 1-4(NKJV)
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.”
Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler[a]
And from the perilous pestilence.
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;