It’s been a very interesting couple of weeks. I wasn’t even going to tell you the story but I had two problems: 1) I promised to be honest, and 2) this has been such a focal point that there isn’t anything else to say. It was either this or write nothing. So here we go!
Last Sunday I was in the doldrums….frustrated that my leg wasn’t better and that things were moving so slowly, upset at myself for overdoing it and causing setbacks. I was also upset because God had done such a big work when I went for prayer and somehow I seemed to have lost it. Because on Monday my leg hurt so much I knew I couldn’t work on Tuesday without crutches. So Tuesday morning, there I was, on crutches again. They didn’t seem to help much and my leg ached all day. It was pretty bad by that evening. By this time my discouragement had reached an all-time high. I’d lost my healing! How does that happen? Wasn’t it real? Didn’t it really happen? Maybe I imagined it? How stupid of me! And so embarrassing since I made such a public declaration of it….you get the idea. I was crabby and upset and had been on and off since my leg started hurting. I was not fun to live with! I wasn’t yelling or anything, I was just down.
When I’d gone for prayer, one of the things they strongly encouraged me to do was get my eyes off my circumstances and focus on God. Praise Him and thank Him for all He’d done. Remind yourself of the things He has done, and continue to pray for continual healing. Well, I wasn’t doing any of that. Once I got discouraged on Sunday I dropped it all. I went back to analyzing and trying to figure out by myself what I could do to make it better and forgot all about praying and trusting in the Lord. And things went from bad to worse.
Wednesday morning I got up in a funk. My leg really hurt. Nick decided to pray for me. I wanted nothing to do with it but at least I didn’t tell him to knock it off. By the time he was done praying I realized how far I’d fallen and what a mess I was in. I repented. God spoke to me. My leg felt better. I decided to go to school without my crutches and Nick agreed to back me in prayer. I made it! I haven’t been on crutches since. My leg is responding and getting better. One day, one hour, one prayer, one repentance and I went from crutches to no crutches. I’m fighting a spiritual battle here; that much has become obvious.
There’s more but I’ll save it for another day and I will keep you posted!
Psalm 91:5-7 (NKJV)
You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.