I may have been on vacation but the dear Lord has continued to speak to me. I’m glad for that! I need all the help I can get. J
I’m a bit obtuse sometimes. I’ve had the same thing happen to me over and over again, and every time I’m surprised. This is how it goes down. I find myself upset about something. In one case this summer it was character issues with my children, or rather lack of character issues. Anyway, I find myself mulling this over and over in my head. I’m upset. I’m thinking about it. I’m worried. I ruminate on the issues for a while (often days!) I let my poor husband have a huge earful of my concerns. I just can’t shake it. Somewhere in the middle of all of this I cry out to the Lord for help. I pray. I beseech the heavens. And lo and behold God moves. In the case of things with the girls this summer, I felt like God gave me clear direction for how to work with them and I moved on it. I’m now feeling pretty confident that God wanted me to address these issues with the girls all along….and now I am. That sounds really spiritual and great, doesn’t it?
Here’s the funky part. When I’m in the middle of my distress, one of the things I often do is try and talk myself out of being concerned. I even use scripture. “Be anxious for nothing….” “Trust in the Lord”….you know the verses; there are many of them. I am upset that I’m upset and I try to counsel myself off of the proverbial ledge, like there’s something wrong with me for being worried. I’m convinced that I shouldn’t be worked up. It never dawns on me that GOD may be bringing up this issue for me to deal with. It never dawns on me that He may be trying to get my attention! I’m feeling like I lack spirituality because I’m concerned, and He’s trying to direct my heart and mind towards something He wants me to deal with! Now I’m guessing He doesn’t need me to get quite as worked up as I manage to do, but I’m grateful He’s willing to work with what He’s got…..a faithful but flawed individual!
What I want to learn to do is this: I want to learn early on to ask God what HE may be doing in the situation. As soon as I feel the burden on my heart…and before I jump to conclusions that it’s just me worrying…..I want to take it to Him and ask Him what to do with it. I want to be willing to think that God just might be trying to speak to me!