This month I’ve actually been doing things I haven’t done in two years. Last year at this time I was just barely able to walk. I can now walk for 15 minutes and even bike for 30 minutes! I’ve actually done some yard work, too! I remember one day last summer our family was working on a project in the yard. I walked out there to check on the family about five times and I was done for the day. No work at all. No helping. Just walking outside five times and I was finished. This July I actually shoveled and raked bark with the rest of them. I kind of got teary. It was the beginning of being a part of the solution rather than the continual problem. I felt normal. Like a real person. Getting to work in the yard was very meaningful for me and I don’t even like yard work. Who knew?
I just started being able to walk across a parking lot rather than use my handicap permit. My daughter laughed at me today when I looked at her with an eager grin and said, “I’m going to park far away…..because I can!” Not exactly how I used to think about parking lots. It’s amazing how a person’s perspective changes.
God knew the road I was about to walk the day my muscles stopped working. He was not surprised or confused. I mentioned this in my blog once before, but I had a person come up to me after church about a month after my muscles first hurt. She said, “God wants you to know how much He loves you and how proud He is of you. He wants you to know that He is a strong pillar for you. You can wrap your arms around Him and He will be strong for you. He wants you to know that He isn’t a hard pillar. He’s warm and soft and you can hold tight to Him.” In retrospect, that word amazes me. I should have realized I was in for a ride if God made such an effort to give me a word to hold onto. But I had no idea what I was really facing, that it would be two years before I could walk into a grocery store from a regular parking spot like a normal person. He knew. He is so good and so faithful. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness to me! (I think I’ll go drive to some parking lot and walk into the store...just because I can! J)