Sunday, September 16, 2012

Running Desperate 2: You Never Know When God is on the Move

 I told you I’d explain  the picture I shared in my last post, but I gotta be honest…..I’m not entirely sure what it means. Here’s what I know. It was the third in a series of pictures I got this spring (I talked about the first one on April 15th). I was in the middle of a major poor health drama at the time and so I have thought these images refer to my health. In the first picture I’m stuck miles behind enemy lines in a burned out city, hiding. Jesus and two angels come along and tell me they are going to get me out of there but I’m going to have to get up and get moving….and trust them.  I have a second picture where we are together on the run, trying to get out of enemy territory. The image from last week was the third image.  At the time I was really surprised. My leg was getting so much better and I thought “Surely I must be on the upswing. The drama is over and things are going to be fine now.” But this picture wasn’t an “everything is alright” type of picture. It indicated struggle and a dramatic sense of trying to overcome the attack of the enemy. I was rather bothered actually. Don’t tell me that there’s more difficulty to come, Lord. Really?  I even wondered if maybe God was showing me where I’d come and that I was already across the line and home free. I didn’t know whether to rejoice or brace myself. I decided that God would show me in His good time.

Well, it wasn’t an easy summer physically in many ways. My leg was so much better that I wanted to focus on that victory. But I lived with constant upper body muscle pain and I had an almost continual headache that kept kicking into a migraine. Everything set me off. I couldn’t sit or stand for very long without it giving me a migraine. I got one on the fourth of July and when I was with my parents at the lake. Not great timing. I was in bad shape. Then I started having stomach problems and the medicine I was taking for that wasn’t working either. It got worse as the start of school approached. After one week of school my leg started hurting again from standing all day. I was worried I would never make it through the school year at this rate.

I kept thinking about that picture, and at some point decided that it was now totally apropos. I did feel like I was running for my very life.

I didn’t know what to do…how does one get across that no man’s land and into the arms of Jesus?  Nick and I prayed about it all summer. We tried to trouble shoot things medically and spiritually. We went for prayer. Somewhere, somehow, in the middle of all of this, God began to move. I’m doing better. I can’t say I’m across that line (and I’m not sure if that’s a definitive moment that’s coming soon, or more indicative of the end of my days). Regardless, I’ve seen some victory and I’m going to share what I’ve learned over the next couple of posts.  One thing I know: God is good and I can totally trust Him, even when things are their darkest. You never know when He’s about to do something. 

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